because I promise you ...

there are times 'sayang',
when ummi won't be able to be there for you,
to talk or play with you,
to wipe your tears
nor end your fears ...

there might be times
ummi just won't be able to be here for you,
not that I don't want to, though I hope I'll always be able to ...
this is the truth, it hurts to admit, but simply true,
though my heart will always long for you,
and forever always I shall love you ...

because ummi is just like 'little' you,
needy and dependent in a lot of ways too,
I might fell sick or there's just other chores to do,
though always and always,
I'll try to give my best to you,
and for you ...

love is, little sweetheart,
mostly felt by the heart,
not always seen, heard or touched ...
know that my love will always remain in your memory,
though my cuddles and kisses are absent
from your senses to perceive ...



but don't worry little darling,
as I promise you,
Allah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem will
always be there for you,
He doesn't need any sleep,
nor will He be too busy for you,
He'll never fell ill,
or forget to care for you ...

He exists and lives forever too,
He's always watchful of everything you do,
to keep you safe and healthy too,
He's the best to rely on,
won't ever let you down,
so don't worry little sweetheart,
because I promise you,
He'll keep you company though the world stays busy,
He'll cure your sickness and makes you feel happy,
He even understands you better than me,
He'll help you go through the days,
with or without me ...

Handzalah 'sayang' don't you ever worry,
ALlah al-Wadud is indeed the best company!


ummi sayang kamu,
khaleel el-wafy
5 ramadan 1427H/27 sept 06

Google Adsense ... why?

assalamu'alaikum friends,

you might have noticed the google ads and search tool newly added on the blog and you might be thinking why?

1stly, I would like to optimize my blog's usage - turning it into a beneficial search engine and research tool for myself, just like why I've put on the Qur'an phonetical searchbox on the left-hand side.

2ndly, Google Adsense program helps you to find targeted ads, or relevant to your subject/discussion/category and stop other no nonsense clicks from coming in. Well, having ads is a choice in blogger.com, and I choose to have them because it is helpful in a lot of ways.

3rdly, everyone who visits this blog can click on 'em and enjoy the same benefits. To those who own a blog might find it helpful to switched them on to.

4th, blogs or sites can monetized from this program through non-fraud ad clicks ;) ... as for me, for the meantime it is just a helpful tool ... I don't thin I'll ever get any profit from this ... huhu ... can you? YES, some people does but that might only apply to very popular blogs with consistent updates and useful informative contents ... and erm, me? I'm too far behind ...

so to anyone who thinks those ads or search tool are helpful, you're welcome to benefit from them too ... otherwise, you need not to help by clicking what's not 'clicking' your views ;) ...

dunia ini fana',
lukluk :)

cermin safar. ini ...

semalam,
aku tiba di daerah ini
dengan hati yang faqir
dan faham yang kerdil

dan semalam,
aku tiba dalam silang hangat siang
juga dinginnya angin malam
lewat persinggahan musim luruh
mengirim gemilang semusim bahang pulang

hati dan mindaku luas terbuka
belum ada yang menghinggapi keduanya
perjalanan ini masih terlalu muda!

ada sedikit duka tersisip di hujung hati
mengingatkan yang ditinggalkan
untuk hadir ke mari
namun hati masih besar dengan syukur
kerana musafir ini
seribu pengorbanan
seribu erti
bukan jauh jarak berenak-enak santai bercuti
bukan untuk melarikan diri
amanah yang udah lama terpundak
hanya kian memberat ...
gimana bisa dilupai?

dan hari ini,
meski sudah ribuan konklusi
jua persepsi yang datang dan pergi
perjalanan masih belum tamat
malah masih banyak berbaki
permusafiran ini yang udah terasa penatnya
baru saja menghadiahkan senyum gembira
untuk aku syukuri sentiasa

jalan ini yang aku pilih
takdir yang dianugerahkanNya
sedang membuahkan kemanisan
yang belum aku temui taranya
benarlah kata-kata
"Erti Hidup pada Memberi"
meski aku tak punya
lebih dari sekeping hati dan dua tangan ini
untuk memohon rahmatNya
barakah dan petunjuk sentiasa

aku masih mencariNya ...
di daerah ini,
di mana-mana aku berada
hidup ...
usah penuh keluh
dan 'dzan' yang seburuk-buruknya
Dia lebih baik dari kebaikan
yang mampu engkau fikirkannya
dan aku yang sepertimu hanya mampu
terus melangkah
menghadap rintang berliku
mengelak onak dan duri
mengejar cita dalam sempitnya waktu

namun susah pasti ada senangnya,
dan liku-liku kan dilalui dengan kelapangan jiwa
meski sabar dan tawadhu' tak bisa memadam cerca
dan mata-mata serong yang berlidah nista
hanya dunia yang menipu
namun Dia tetap benar dengan janjiNya

dan demi Dia yang bersumpah dengan masa
aku tinggalkanmu dan kecintaanmu kepada dunia
hanya sedikit ini bekalanku moga-moga,
kuntum du'a masih mengharap hidayah Yang Esa
Tuhan jangan tinggal aku sendiri,
walau sekerdip mata atau yang lebih pendek darinya ...

selimutilah aku dengan Taqwa padaMu
agar aku tak keliru dan panjang asaku
moga sisa masa masih ada buatku
menemukan redhaMu dalam nafas akhir fanaku ...

*terimalah ya ALlah!

khaleel el-wafy
4 ramadan 1427H/26 Sept 2006

talk-about-babies [part 4]

For those who has been wondering what Handzalah's up to right now - erm he's still in deep sleep :) (its 8 a.m). He's very active - day and night - running and jumping around, he'll say "jump, jump" everytime he plays the jump-jump game :). He calls out ummi (out loud ;)) whenever he needs anything or fell down, he can say "abi" clearly but he's been calling abi the same way he calls ummi lately (I don't know why :D) and his favorite words are "ALlah", "ummi" (truly, he'll be saying ummi again and again though he doesnt needs me), "ayam" (he likes chicken?), "plum", and he can pronounce names like "Amir" and "Mayam" - thats Maryam :). Says "nak" when he wants something, "air" when he needs water/a drink and "dah" when he finishes his meal and shows his hands - that means he needs to clean them NOW :)

He loves listening to music - anasheed from Shoutul Harakah, Shoutul 'Amal and Harris Shaffix's Keimanan song. He'll ask for those, pointing to the laptop and saying "gu" - that's for lagu. And how do we know he loves those songs? Because he will be asking for repeats and whenever we turn to any other than those he'll be upset and asking for them again - with more signs than words of course :). Err and he seems to love moving/shaking his body to the beat - ouch ouch :D.

He's sleeping (alhamdulillah - thats a great blessing!) and eating well after weaning totally off breastmilk a few months ago - thanks to the help of my parents and lil bro Zak - and he now loves drinking from "real" cups rather than the training ones :). He has been able to feed himself with hands or using spoon - we've trained him to do so since he was eight or nine months. *To those moms out there - you can help to coordinate their eyes+hands' movement through this mealtime practice. Find them a booster seat or a highchair and trust them with food in the bowl, hand or fork and spoon (plastic ones). And DONT WORRY TOO MUCH about the mess they'll make. Your child's EDUCATION and DEVELOPMENT are MORE IMPORTANT than your house being tip top clean all the time RIGHT? It's great to feed them with your hands once in a while, but not all the time if we want them to learn these living skills from young. You might find a big, washable plastic bip that covers the body with a bit of shoulders helpful and putting a plastic mat/cover on the floor, under the chair, if it helps to reduce you messy worries :).

He loves to read especially books illustrated with animals and machines (I guess that's why Bob the Builder is so popular among kids) and he loves helping ummi to clean the house - dengan penyapu dan kain lap - other than his favourite toys - the washing machine (he knows how to load and unload the clothes and pushing the button "on") and Mr. Hoover a.k.a the vacuum cleaner :).

He prays everytime ummi or abi prays (or anyone else around), saying "ALlah, ALlah" (the L sounds a bit like a W) all the time. Standing and doing the ruku'-sujud mix and the tahiyyah sitting. And the funny part is, he'll point out the index finger/forefinger from both hands uttering "ALlah, ALlah" again and again ;) (if you don't - of course we don't - he'll find your other forefinger and pull it up, erk!). He has recently discovered giving salam to the right and lately being voluntary to offer prayers holding both hands up and uttering a whisper like prayer (whatever it is) :). He will never let ummi and abi read a book or use the laptop alone without his company :) - though he'll "read" the book upside down and simply clicks the mouse or shut the computer down (using the start button).

He's a bit clingy now, maybe because he knows the little one's coming and the fear of separation has starting to develop since having his first few - short though - experience in the nursery when ummi and abi attended a parenting motivation seminar recently. And maybe because he misses the days when Atuk, Opah and Uncle Zak were around - he's always entertained and well looked after mashaAllah - ummi and abi are trying to do the same sayang :). He's teething then and again but he hasn't filled his jaws yet. 'Ala kuli haal he's growing and developing fine alhamdulillah and subhanallah so fast. He' a real heartthrob, he waves a hi and bye to everyone who passes, EVERYONE and especially guests going out the door. He'll offer a salam and kiss on the hand when you ask him to do so with a sweet "Muah" and "Bye" at the end. Most of all, he's simply ummi's kind little company though sometimes ummi does not know how to keep him entertain and busy when ummi has other chores to complete.

sharing some tips from the parenting motivation seminar - how to develop an Islamic Worldview in your child :
- teach them to 1) LOVE ALLAH
2) LOVE RASULULLAH
3) LOVE AL-QUR'AN

- create an environment that'll expose them and instil love to these three thing
- educate them about their importance
- ESPECIALLY FOR US WHO LIVES IN THE WEST: always care to explain why we are different (ghuraba') from the disbelievers, why we don't or do things ... we ourselves should be an exemplary figure that appreciates our culture and way of life not the lifestyle loved and portrayed by the WEST - don't teach them to be proud of being a British BUT a MUSLIM!

hope we'll benefit from this great info, simply said but it is indeed another quest or struggle (I've been using these words too often?) ... 'ala kulli haal, enjoy parenthood and the blessings of having those beautiful little people friends! :)

moga anak ummi dan abi jadi anak yang soleh dengan akhlaq terpuji!

ahlan ya ramadhan!

Keyfa haalukum jamee'an?

How time flies ... and ramadhan is here again! Walhamdulillah :). Muslims in soton are welcoming the first day of ramadhan today (23rd Sept, 2006) ... erm so everyone out there - sotonians - don't forget that there'll be no breakfast and lunch today but the best meal ever inshaAllah during IFTAR :)

* From Abu Hurairah r.anhu, Rasulullah s.a.w said: [Allah Taala rewards one who fasts with TWO happiness, ONE: when he breaks his fast and ANOTHER: when he meets his Creator in the hereafter. Sahih Muslim]

Ramadhan is a path towards attaining and improving our taqwa, not through mere fasting and praying rituals but through the essence which lies beneath the act of fasting and the unique blessings of ramadhan itself.

* 2: 183 "O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint,-"

The goal of fasting or shall we say the end result we're striving for in the Quest of Ramadhan is self-restraint or Taqwa (which I believe means a lot more than simply self-restraint) has been mentioned clearly by the Almighty, yet attaining what Taqwa really means and enduring its challenges are not as easy as it may seem.

Physical fasting alone might benefit us in many ways as explained by various medical research, but abstaining oneself from the evil within us and the temptations outwards to do things which might be unnecessary - wasteful - lagha, or bad - disobedient - munkar, and increasing our love, devotion and awareness of the Greatest Lord (Allahuakbar), in every step we make, and every breath we take means having a lot (thats A LOTTTT!) of patience and effort to do good and to reject its opposites, and perseverance to be steadfast on our daily pursuit of attaining Taqwa and His pleasure InshaAllah.

Hmm ... this Ramadhan means a lot to me. I hope I can complete the fasting month by fasting because I was not able to have a full 30 days of Ramadhan last time (during my 1st pregnancy). The doctor said I can't no longer fast when Ramadhan was about to end in a week's time then. But InshaAllah (please make du'a for me friends), I hope Allah will bless me with good health and ease my quest to fulfil my little struggle which is still far from enough for this Taqwa journey.

To my family and friends all over the world :), I've been a bit (or was it SOOO) busy lately and blogger went 'kong' for sometime, therefore I had to leave the blog 'unattended' and unupdated. Nonetheless, I hope to be able to put up some informative articles and to let my little mind and heart express their thoughts from time to time so that we can share some good things on the net inshaAllah. Sharing knowledge (at least) is a bit of da'wah everyone can try doing right?

Welcoming any informative/educational emails on any subject from my dearest friends, but NO GOSSIPS or NONSENSE pleaseee ! (and of course, enough of Siti and Datuk K's matter filling my inbox :( - I beg you!)

until this pen writes again, may Allah bless us all with patience, strength and wisdom to endure this quest, to understand why we're here today(in ad-dunyaa) and how we should walk through this worldly life to the path of the everlasting aakhirah ... forgive me for all my wrongdoings and please don't forget us in your du'as, ramadhan kareem mubarak!

Allah Knows Best and we know NOT!

Parenting Skills [2]

continuation ...

Subject: a*i*d*a : parenting skills (vol 1)

Asm wbt,

Those who follow the last email might remember the first step of successful parenting is playing with your child. 2nd layer of parenting pyramid is PRAISE your child. One of the method to encourage good behaviours. Parents often use praise only for extraordinary good behaviours or excellent academic performance. We rarely praise them for playing quietly or going to bed on time. Research indicates lack of attention and praise to good behaviours can lead to inappropriate/misbehaviour. Some parents also mistakenly give praise selectively eg only when they satisfied with the finish result, instead of praising their child on small steps towards that final results/good behaviour.

Praise can be in the form of words, smile, hugs or even a pat on the back. Freely available, so use them.

How to praise more effectively?

1. Be specific

When praising, be specific and mention the good behaviour in your praise. Praise like 'good boy', 'good girl' is too general and not helping in encouraging good behaviour in your child. Labelled praise like 'Good boy, for playing nicely with your sister' or 'Thank you hanan for eating your meal at the table' is more effective in telling your child, what behaviour is good. By doing this you encourage them to continue the behaviour.

2. Show enthusiasm

praise with good tone of voice, smile and eye contact. the praise should be stated with care and sincerity.

3. Avoid combining praise and negative critics/punishers

some parents give praise and without realising it, they contadict it. Basically they praise the child and being sarcastic at the same time. For eg. 'I like when you eating your breakfast , but next time can you do it on time so that we wont be late for school', 'Good boy for doing your bed, but why cant you do it every moring?' These kind of praise will remind the children that they are not good enough and indirectly highlight the negative behaviour itself.

4. Praise immediately

effective praise is when you praise the child within 5 secs of the positive behaviour starts. This means if you want to encourage new behaviour, you should watch the first step ie holding the toy to put it in the box after playing, try to put on their shirt etc. dont wait till the room is clear from toys or they manage to get dress from head to toe. Just praise them immeditaley, this will motivate them to try harder to complete the task, just give them time.

Simple tips ...

Write down what good behaviour that you want to develop in your child, and work on them.

Starts with the simplest one eg putting shoes at shoe rack, hanging coat properly or even sitting down for meal.

Do praise them in front of other people/family members.

Hopefully this will benefit all of you out there.

Parenting Skills [1]

a nice email sent to me contains this ...

Subject: a*i*d*a : parenting skills (vol 1)

Asm wbt,

For those needing some tips and help in handling your kids, you might find these guidelines useful. These trouble-shooting is specifically design for 3-8yrs old childrens. As this can be a difficult time for both parents and children. The social and emotional development of children during these period is incredible, so enjoy every step of the growth by believing yourself, learning from your mistakes and imperfection, getting support from others and most importantly having fun with your kids.

Foundation For Successful Parenting

1. Play with your child

Why? Bcoz play benefits your child in many ways, being creative, build up confidence, learn how to relate with others, express themselves etc.

Widespread mistake in any society..play is unproductive, a waste of time. "she's only playing", "stop playing around". With all these academic and social expectation, children missing their prime time to develop through play. And on top of that adult's intervention is needed to stimulate these developments. Through play you can help your child to solve problem, test out ideas and build a warm relationship between you and him/her.

How to play?

a) use a toy/game that suitable with their age but let them choose

b) follow your child lead : meaning DONT INSTRUCT,DONT CRITISE, DONT ASK ANY QUESTION. Bear these in mind when play with your child, your will be suprise how difficult it is to keep these rules and sitting next to him/her. the idea is to let them use their instict, imagination rather than imposing your own. if they want to put an elephant on top of a block of tower, put draw a horse on sky..let them, it is just a play. this approach will also encourage them to think independently.

c) Pace the play to suit your child :your will find that most children like repetitive activity, thus they might choose the same toy/activity again and again. these is part of them, they like routine things. let them play according to their tempo, dont push them just bcoz you're bored. remember, childrens minds moves slowly from one idea to another compared to adults. so let them take their own time to take another step, these will help to expand their attention span and encourage them to concentrate on one activity for a period of time.

d) praise your child's ideas n creativity : play does not have to make sense to you. a horse can fly, or a truck can talk and swim..just praise them correctly. eg 'wow that is clever the green truck can swim'.' how exciting, you painted your elephant yellow'. Praise secifically so that your child know what is it that you're praising. by doing this you encourage him/her to continue being creative.

e) be an appreciative audience : some parents getting too involved and ignore their children or end up take over the play. When play with your child, focus on them, not getting too involved on what you are doing. give them praise or applaud.

f) use descriptive commenting : perents accasionally ask so many question when they engage with play "what animal is this?" why do you colour the tree?" etc. some of us believe that's the only way to show some interest with the play. why not try the descriptive commenting technique. it is where you doing a running commentary of what your child's activity during play. in simple words decribe waht you see. eg. "very good, now you putting the blue block on top of the red" and so forth. by doing this you teach them the colour,activity/vocab and at the same time not interfering the play. you might found it uncomfortable at first, but if doing it persistently you will find that you child enjoy the attention you give them.

Be prepared for times when your child plays inappropriately or misbehave, if the behavior can be ignore ie not desruptive/dangerous just turn your face away and once they behave apparopriately turn back to them and continue play with them. by doing these you indirectly telling them that they can only get the attention if they play nicely. if on the other hand they starting to play dangerously eg throwing toys to you you can stop the play by saying "when you throw the block, we have to stop playing".

and remember to give some idea to your child about stopping the play. about 5 minutes before ending the play you can say "ok, in afew minutes I will stop playing with you, I really enjoy palying,we will continue the play tomorrow/etc". Distract your child on something else. Walk away and ignore any plead (if any). Just spend 10mins/day to play with them. they will know their limit if you show that you already give 10mins full concentartion to them and they cant manipulate you. Once they learn this, the protest will becoming less.

Do try and remember enjoy your time with them..

to be continued...insyaAllah

I can't sleep

my eyes are closely shut
but my heart is far from leap
it cries, it laughs, it weeps
and my mind goes deep
into thoughts ...

my body is tired
but I can't feel weak
when my heart is yearning,
in hunger and in need,
of moving reminders,
sweet soul breathers,
loving touch and kind gestures,
from people who loves God
and strives for His pleasure!

and such moments are the sweetest memories ...

khaleel el-wafy @2:am sept 12, 2006