talk-about-babies [part 2]

[tidurlah sayang ...]

good eating habits - sufficient nutrition and quantity - will help develop good sleeping habits too! we've been "struggling" to put Handzalah to sleep on normal bedtime routine yet his sleeping disorder has been going on for months ... he's always awake when he sleeps at night yet peacefully sleeps in the morning ... and he'll always want to be fed and sleep in my arms ... why?

changing a habit is difficult especially when its tied to another ... the Health Visitor said that he didn't sleep well maybe because he didn't eat well, and a doc said that sleeping together with him and breastfeeding him to sleep won't help either ... everything's interrelated ...

how bad was the sleeping problem? well, I'll say enough to make ummi and abi zombies! staying awake all night and sleeping in the morning isn't my kind of style, not even during my college days- never stayed up to study and qadha' in the morning, nope not me! night sleep is too precious, it has a different feeling ... 8 hours in the morning would not equal a few good hours of night sleep ... as Allah has said in the Qur'an (excerpts from Tafsir Ibn Kathir - surah an-Naba'):

(And We have made your sleep as a thing for rest.) meaning, a cessation of movement in order to attain rest from the frequent repetition and going about in search of livelihood during the day. A similar Ayah has been mentioned previously in Surat Al-Furqan.

[وَجَعَلْنَا الَّيْلَ لِبَاساً ]

(And We have made the night as a covering,) meaning, its shade and darkness covers the people. This is as Allah says,

[وَالَّيْلِ إِذَا يَغْشَـهَا ]

(By the night as it conceals it.) (91:4) Qatadah commented;

[وَجَعَلْنَا الَّيْلَ لِبَاساً ]

(And We have made the night as a covering,) meaning, a tranquil residence. Concerning Allah's statement,

[وَجَعَلْنَا النَّهَارَ مَعَاشاً ]

(And We have made the day for livelihood.) meaning, `We made it radiant, luminous, and shining so that the people would be able to move about in it.' By it they are able to come and go for their livelihood, earning, business dealings and other than that as well.

i believe that we should dedicate our morning and day for chores and making a living, and our nights should be spent for rest and maybe sunnah prayers (solah, dzikr, reciting the
Qur'an) ... and i hope to train my son (the way my mother tried as much as she can to train us) to fulfill his duties in the mornings and the nights accordingly (as Allah ordained the human nature to be / sunnatullah) ... so that one day inshaallah, he could realize the meaning of "fursan fin nahaar wa ruhban fil layl" ...

he sleeps in the morning at about 8 or 9 a.m (try waking him up at this time and he'll cry his lungs out without even opening his eyes), and sometimes throughout the afternoon unless we take him out (one tried solution to his sleeping disorder) and he'll take a nap at about 6 or 7pm to 8 or 9 p.m and stay awake until the wee hours in the morning .. he might have a nap between those hours but a very very very short one! maybe for half an hour or less before he's awake
again, smiling and sitting on his back "ummi, its playtime again!" ;)

we had a cot back in malaysia but after 6 months he no longer wants to sleep in it ... was it already too small? and now we don't actually have room for one ... inshaallah, hopefully in 6 months time, we'll get a better house when the contract ends ...

so the solution that i could figure out after reading some materials about this problem is :
1) feed him well. as much as he wants and as often as he would take, for he consumes very little everytime. mama said i should give him a snack when he's up in the morning to make sure he's full and comfortable enough to get back to bed.

2) not feeding him to sleep. if he's already asleep i'll get him to the bed ASAP. if he's already sleepy after a meal or breastfeed, i'll get him to bed ASAP, pat his back and sang him lullabies to the dreamland or another "nice" solution is to let abi get him to bed. that works! he loves listening to abi's heartbeat too I guess :) in other words it is an attempt to change his sleep indicator - milk doesn't mean sleep - and to develop a particular sleeping environment/routine - the bed, the dark(with a little light though) ...

3) let him comfort himself when he's awake. if he suddenly cries during his sleep/nap, i won't quickly attend to him, pick him up and feed him - i'll let him find peace on his own for a
while if he doesn't really cry hard, but if he cries a bit louder (because of a nightmare etc.) i'll pat his back, and recite to him Quranic verses or dzikr or sing him lullabies until he sleeps again (abi does this better than i do because the baby won't get anything more than that from his father :D), unless he's really up for just a short feed ...

4) not to entertain him when he wants to play during bedtime. again, its about environment and routine. sleeping time is sleeping time dearest, ummi will play with you again tomorrow ... when he's bored, he'll know that's actually a cue for him to quit playing ...

5) keep him active in the day. if he hasn't sleep at all the night before, you can't never expect him to last until the afternoon. he'll sleep to the comforting morning breeze and even if you get him up and wash his face he'll get back to sleep again with a great fuss. but if ummi and abi takes him out, the environment outside usually is an eye opener to this little one. we've tested for a few times, if we bring him out in the day, he'll be sleeping earlier at night to rise and shine the next morning ... but to get him out everyday is a bit impossible especially in this cold weather, we don't want to take the risk of him getting any cold or fever ...

well ideals are usually easier said than done. not everything works everytime. there were occassions that he didn't sleep much in the day yet he still stay awake during the night. where did he get so much energy from? :) nevertheless, as dr. stoppard wrote, active-less sleeping children/children with sleeping disorder usually don't have any health issues yet could be very rewarding as they are sometimes openly affectionate to people ... and alhamdulillah, i believe that's true as I could see it now in Handzalah's loving character ... he's such a heartthrob!

[my few cents thoughts on parenting ...]

there's no easy way to perfect parenthood (well there's none actually - but we can be good at it). it takes a lot of learning and experience, trials and errors, as every child and parent are unique and different.

babies are one of the most wonderful creations of His. we want to love them and nourish them with every care and goodness in this world ... unfortunately sometimes we think its love but its actually discouraging our beloved ones to have a well-disciplined life from the beginning. and
sometimes we simply do not know what to do not to hurt them yet teach them what's right and wrong. to make it more complicated - there's too many information and resources - from family tradition to health sciences - what you know and what you don't from both and what is applicable from both also matters ... its hard to breastfeed when you didn't know that it shouldn't hurt (with correct methods and positioning), and its hard to remove a dummy/pacifier from your baby if its already a family thing from generation to generation (i don't use it though) ... things we've got used to might not be the things we should do ...

'ala kulli haal, this is another quest and jihaad for us parents - especially mothers - who received this great responsibility from the Creator, the day we conceived ... let that happiness from this great blessing be the source of strength and our motivator to help build another great muslim ummah by producing children in accordance to the guidance derived from the Qur'an and the Sunnah ...

last but not least, a hadeeth to ease and comfort our struggling souls through this journey:

"When a person dies, his action discontinues except for three: a continuing charity, or knowledge which proves to be of benefit, or a righteous son who supplicates for him"
([Narrated by Muslim] Sharh an-Nawawi [11/85])

Allah Knows Best.

talk-about-babies [part 1]

[handzalah goes to town ...]

when handzalah goes to town ... he'll fall asleep in the car/bus, on the way to the town and back ... he will always sleep on the journey! (just like ummi did ;) - enjoying the ride in peace)

we were in town on Monday, yesterday and today!

not really for the boxing-day-craze, just shopping for goods during the lower-price-season :D ... well, we didn't join the craze - really! we went a bit late in the afternoon (not too early in the morning waiting for Next's door to open ;)) and we didn't buy much as well ... we only bought a few things for abuhandzalah "working wardrobe" and Handzalah's very own booster seat so that he can join us at the dining table and start eating well ... he has very little interest in food and still so much tempted to milk (breastfed), so abi and ummi decided to 'help' him with a nice booster seat bought from JohnLewis for only 25 pounds (is that cheap? i'm not so sure but it looks better than what Argos offer ...) ... we didn't look for any kat carboot, we don't even know how to get to any!

and today at last, we bought our monthly ration at ASDA and chicken from C&C ... and they were the reason why we went to town three consecutive days this week! boleh pulak ASDA tutup and C&C was out of stock for chicken everytime we reached their doors ... sabr, sabr :)

'ala kulli haal, alhamdulillah we managed to get everything we need ... need ... maybe thats why we're not so into the "craze" ... we only bought things we NEED, not WANT ... alhamdulillah .. its good too have "enough" money not to waste it on things and wants we'll never have enough of ...

back to my baby ...

[One for abi, another one for ummi and one for Handzalah ...]

... our cute little baby!

that's how ummi sings to Handzalah, persuading him to take his meals ... (and of course the first few spoons will have to be tasted by ummi first! ;)) ... Handzalah takes a long time to finish his meals ... and he usually take time not only to chew but even to be carried away with other interests ... it takes a lot of patience to wait for him to finish a very small meal ... nevertheless, its good enough if he wants to eat, there are times he simply refuses everything! and because he refuses so many things (though we keep on giving him in all sort of varieties), ummi resort back to the old baby food - and found some interesting ones at Boots (a better range than ASDA i think) ... from bread sticks, to fruit juices and puree ... the first two seems to work fine though it still takes time to finish one stick and half a bottle of juice, but the puree is not challenging enough for babies with teeth I guess ... oh ya, mama asked us to try giving him yoghurt (doc said its good for him when he has a fever too) and guess what? we bought it and he lovesss it! alhamdulillah ... (*feeding tip from UmmAzzam - little and often - sounds like meal intake during pregnancy?)

when we first started solids for him (about 6-7 months of his age), he used to sit quietly and open his mouth waiting for the spoon to come in, whether he will later pull a face to show dislike or whether he'll make some "ah" "ah" sounds asking for more - meaning he loves it, but now he will usually turn around, or nod his head or simply take out his two little hands to push the spoon or bowl to the floor when anything feels wrong on his tastebuds or whenever he has enough ...
feeding to this "early-learners" is expected to be a messy task, whether you feed them or moreover when you're teaching them to self-feed ...

betul tak kalau dikatakan, malay mothers usually feed their child and rarely do the latter at a very early age? maybe because we're used to the idea of feeding our children on our laps, on the floor and the concept of high-chairs, booster-seats-and-child-joining-the-dining-table (too long a term :D) is still a bit foreign to our kampung and also town folks ... it's just one of those things we don't really do/bother of and maybe because such accessories to accompany this kind of training cost a lot/are expensive back home in Malaysia ... well, for now, i don't really think there's any harm in it - but the good side of this training is that we'll help our child to coordinate his senses and body parts (hands-eyes) and instill confidence by being self-sufficient and independent ... furthermore, time for "food" is very much social time for the family, where everyone sits to enjoy the meal and share their bit of the day with each other ...

the first time we went to see the Health Visitor at the university's clinic, she told us to cut off baby biscuits and simply give him family food (mashed or made chewable to him) - pasta, lasagne etc. - and more protein, to help him gain enough nutrients and sleep restfully ... it reminds me of sis Baiti's lil' Aufa who loves only what her parents eat, not those "special" homemade meals made exclusively for her! same goes to this young man, he's tempted with what goes into our mouths rather than the "strange" things he has in his own special bowl ... "why must I have these when everyone else isn't?" ... he no longer wants to eat bubur nasi or plain vege-chicken soup eventhough you put all the nicest things in it! the idea actually worked for some time ... he lovesssss pasta, shepherd's pie, mashed potatoes and all those non-spicy western cuisines ... it is also a blessing for ummi not having to cook two separate meals daily for the family alhamdulillah, but unfortunately, ummi and abi prefer hot and spicy food because we are malaysians :) and sometimes the dull-tasting western meals bored us!

bukan ciplak, tapi ...

I've once read MY OWN writing/poem posted on a blog with its complete content from A to Y ... err Y? because the Z is the part I put my pen name on and it was gone!

Satu hari terdetik di hati, menjenguk ruangan puisi di Portal Muslimah, been there b4, but i didn't have much interest in such forums ... tapi hari itu ana membelek hampir seluruh koleksi karya puisi/sajaknya ... and guess what i've found?

another piece of MINE! and again, without my pen name at the end of it ... tapi nama entah siapa pula kali ini ... yg lucu, puisi yg sama dikirim dua nama berbeza ... satu oleh A, satu oleh B ...

dan semalam abuhandzalah (oh ya he's back to blogspot.com) "mengejutkan", beria-ia "menunjukkan" another poem that's mine di BT (he's a regular visitot there) dan sekali lagi ...!!

yang tambah "menggembirakan" it has been altered - dgn lafz yg salah (pulakkk...)?

papar tanpa izin dan kredit kepada penulis asal?
papar tanpa izin dengan nama lain/sendiri?
tukar dan papar tanpa izin dan kredit kepada penulis asalnya?

tanpa etika? atau tak hairanlah? banyak lagi penulis maya yg menjadi mangsa ciplak? curi dan sebagainya ... setakat satu dua tulisan kita "terkena", biasalah ye?

sekadar kepelikan ...
kalau dikata budaya copy, paste & forward antara sebabnya - ana tertanya-tanya - kenapa boleh copy seluruh isi dengan meninggalkan hanya satu baris nama, atau kenapa perlu bersusah-payah cut yg sebaris itu atau tukar namanya kalau kesempatan hanya utk CPF cuma?
ALlah Maha Tahu, ana tak tahu juga ...

ana izinkan kalau ada manfaatnya utk dikongsi, tapi hormatilah "harta intelek" (ataupun bagi ana - suara, rasa dan daya hati dan minda) seseorang sepertimana mereka menghormati keinginan anda untuk membaca, menyimpan atau memaparnya ...

dulu ana ada letak Creative Commons License di blog sodeeq, tapi sejak sodeeq down dan perpindahan demi perpindahan berlaku ... i've lost it somehow ... 'ala kulli haal, sesama kita yg namanya muslimah atau muslim, rasanya tak perlu musykilah bab akhlaaqiyat ini diruncingkan melaui aspek undang-undang sebegini ... unless, kita sedang menderita penyakit hati ... na'uzubillah!

tak berniat memburukkan sesiapa, malah website yg ana mention in this post pun mungkin menjadi mangsa gejala CPF membabi buta ni ...

mohon maaf salah dan silap, sekadar memohon anda memulangkan hak saya sebagai seorang manusia apalagi sebagai seorang Muslim khususnya ...

bukan kerna nama apalagi puji ...

p/s: bisik2 minda:
[1] tulisan pakdi lagikan dicuri di media cetak... siapalah aku?
[2] eh...boleh tahan popular jugak ye? (joking :D)
[3] kalau nak CPF with alterations tanpa izin pun buatlah elok-elok sikit, biar nampak real dan berkaliber ... err! :P

:)

a piece of my mind, a piece of my heart

was talking to uncle T @3-4a.m (I think) this morning - while "waiting" for "my cute little baby" Handzalah to fall asleep (this is nearly a daily routine already, allahumma yassir) ... he wanted to call us then but I told him that abuhandzalah was sleeping and I don't want to wake him up since the computer is in the bedroom .. so he replied: "those days you're kid now you are real mother.."

an answer I didn’t expect yet I’ve received so many times – alike – since motherhood begins … remembered my cousin telling my aunts how much I’ve grown and lost my childishness (well I was VERY emotional I guess) …

my my...how time flies and how much I've missed all those moments - being a child ... once, I've thought of not growing up at all! (huhu..I don't want to grow up, I'm a toys r us kid! ;)) err, that's impossible of course ... samalah seperti satu ketika dulu I don't think I'll ever get married ... I'll live this life to my old age - kalau ada usia - doing what I do best (apa tu?), further my studies (not in the 'normal' way though) and take care of my parents till the day I die ... but things changed, so do I …

I enjoy being a daughter to my beloved mama and papa, a sister to all my siblings (that's 7 of us - the so called "Sevenlords" :)), a friend to my bestest friends everywhere, anywhere I've ever known them and a servant to the Love of My Life … well, teenage life was hard … aha, that’s what everybody has in common right? Nevertheless, there were ups as there were downs, and great moments of laughter though I might have cried pails of tears, and success more than failure and of course plenty of LOVE that keeps me on my endeavour … I’ve made friends, quite a lot … and some “enemies” too! Huhu I didn’t plan that … I didn’t have much enjoyed my campus life though because I had too little time “around” the location itself – I’ve spent so much time with my family … and I thought that was toooo much, a lot then … but now it’s like I’ve never had enough! And maybe that was and is the best thing that has ever happened in my life … I have the greatest people loving and caring for me from the minute I came into this world until today mashaAllah …

from a child and a daughter I’ve grown to a lady/woman (uh uh…that sounds odd!), a wife and a mother to my own lovely child! That takes 23 years to happen but now it feels like a blink of an eye … childhood, teenage and campus life, marriage and now motherhood … we walk through this life everyday with a different view of life itself as we learn and experience what life is all about … through different roles and opportunities … I’ve been blessed! With knowledge, and with love … alhamdulillah!

I might be nobody to the whole world but I believe that my family has taught me the most precious thing in life, and that, makes me a person equally unique and special as everyone else … cinta membutuhkan pengorbanan … whether its love to the Creator or His creations … manifesting the real essence of love takes a lot of courage and strength to sacrifice … you sacrifice the world in order to gain aakhirah, you sacrifice your pleasures to fulfill the needs of others … my mother sacrificed everything for me and my family, and still she struggles to make others’ life a better one each and every day she has lived and lives …

my baby was sick for more than three days and I was so worried and hurt … I couldn’t do anything to make him well except calming him down when he’s crying so hard due to the pain and discomfort and give him his medication as prescribed by the doc … I sang him lullabies and let him sleep in my arms through the night … and I prayed for Allah’s might to make him well again so that he could easily laugh, smile and play again to cure my aching heart …

Such days remind me of my mama … how much she has suffered in great pain not only to deliver all of us … but furthermore – to take care all the seven of us – with different characters, likes and dislikes … dealing with our problems, big and small … seeing and nursing us in sickness and on the hospital bed …

it reminds me of every single thing I could remember that she had done to nurture and ‘cure’ our spirits so that we’ll appreciate His blessings and survive the challenges in life …

the day she left us at school and we cried, she didn’t … and she didn’t come back for us until it is time for us to go back … but if we call her in need of something or when we did things wrongly or when we’ve given up … she’ll pick us up in our weakest moments … she held our hands without feeling ashamed when we ourselves couldn’t face the burden of shame ourselves … she’ll say try again and she’ll do everything to get us back on our own two feet …

and she told me to hang on, and that I can do it … the day I thought I will never survive the game of life and that I’ll lose to the sickness and succumbed to death … I cried hearing her say that because I thought at that very second I’ve failed her when she never failed us … I cried … and I cried …

……………………………. But I’ve survived that biiznillah wa bihamdihi … I’ve survived for His never-ending love and forgiveness … for the strength that she breathed into my soul and for the courage she believed I posses … she believes in me, therefore, I’ve learnt to believe in myself …

and thank you Allah for blessing me with another companion who believes in me … who helped me to survive those moments I shall never forget … who trusted me with love and great responsibilities though my two hands are small, he always believed I will be able to do these things right …

sekerdil dan sefakir ini ... aku!

masa berlalu.

manusia berubah, dan apabila bercakap fasal perubahan orang selalu fokus ttg - perubahan dr kebaikan kpd keburukan ...

cuma yg menjadi tanda tanya - macamana pula dgn yg sebaliknya?

i've tried my best to figure out why oh why?

makanya aku cuba melihat tabiat sendiri, ada tak yg dari elok, suci, murni asalnya dikurnia Pencipta, aku cemarkan jd buruk dan hodoh pula ...

dan malangnya aku ini manusia yang lupa (ahh... lupakah atau saja melupakan!) maka ...
ADA!!!

astaghfirullah, mungkin terlalu banyak pula ...

but how and why?

bila ku fikirkan segala asbab dan alasannya - "nafsu kah? syaitan kah? ahhh aku lagi kan diperdaya dunia!" maka hasilnya adalah asbab dan ALASAN SEMATA-MATA! Excuses!! How could we live a day without them eh?! :(

Sayang ... hari menghadap Tuhan bisakah lagi bermain alasan? kerna nafsu, kerna syaitan ... bahkan akulah yg terpedaya dan akhirnya menanggung beban ... dosa, noda -tangan inilah yg membuatnya, telinga inilah yg mendengarnya, mata inilah yg melihatnya, fikir inilah, hati inilah ... yg tercemar, yg terhina ... bila syaitan jadi teman di dunia ...

tapi ahh... temankah dia??

[Quran 8:48 Remember Satan made their (sinful) acts seem alluring to them, and said: "No one among men can overcome you this day, while I am near to you": But when the two forces came in sight of each other, he turned on his heels, and said: "Lo! I am clear of you; lo! I see what ye see not; Lo! I fear Allah. for Allah is strict in punishment."]

BAHKAN! Syaitan takut pdNYA ...

dan aku dari tanah dan mani yg hina masih lalai, selesa dgn kemegahan dosa!

Allah Allah Allah :(

oh Allah don't leave me to myself,
alone ... I shall fade away

oh Allah don't leave me to myself,
alone ... I shall go astray!

allahummaghfirlana ...

moga istiqamah ...

alhamdulillah kami sekeluarga kini telah selamat menjadi musafir di perantauan ... asifah kerana belum dapat menghidupkan blog ini kembali ... will make a comeback soon inshaAllah ...

jazakumullah khayral jazaa'