bismillah ...

alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah who sent us the Book as guidance and the reason of success in this world and the hereafter.

dearest friends, thank you for stopping by for a read. the so called writer has been "out of reach" for a while due to a dead phone line and a laptop falling ill recently.

alhamdulillah everything's normal again. and with the new member in the family, there's so many stories to be told and so many precious ni'mah to ponder upon, the writer will be posting new entries soon InshaAllah. thank you for your patience and loyalty :) - here's a little gift for everyone - Fidaa', our little sweetheart born on 15th January 2007.




please make du'a for everyone, may Allah forgive us and grant us patience and peace to live and understand His blessings ...

p/s: credit to hana for the nice pics and memories in bath :)

tetamu nan teristimewa!

I've been waiting to write this entry, but, thinking that having a pic with it will be absolutely better than just words to describe has resulted the delay. 'Ala kulli haal, can't wait, no more ... I don't want to forget and I don't want to procrastinate, not only the little time I have left but also the precious memories that I've had!

Did I tell you (my dear friends), I've had a few special guests last year? My 6th sibling, Ijlal a.k.a UI came just before the beginning of winter, and later on my beloved parents and youngest bro Zak during the summer ... they were like angels sent to lift up my spirit, offering a helping hand. All three of us were delighted with their stay, Alhamdulillah and MashaALlah. We haven't left Malaysia that long yet are blessed with the chance to go home when Abah was terribly sick and having family around before and after our journey back home to look after Abah whom was hospitalised for more than a month ...

But that was at the end of 2005 till 2006. This year began with another blessing. My favourite mu'allim, a very close family friend and our all time murabbi was invited for a winter program by a Malaysian groups of students here in the UK. I was informed about his coming by KakLong, but I can't seem to find a way to get his contact number even until the very day he came. I even asked my family back home to contact him in advance so that i can see him when he arrives, but ALlah Knows Best it was just not meant to be. A friend reminded me about a schoolmate somewhere here in the UK, telling me that he might be seeing him. I was relieved and quickly sent an SMS telling him to at least send him my Salam and invitation to our little home in S'oton.

Sadly, the text message didn't receive a reply until one day KakLong's lil sister in Dublin told me that he was in S'oton and will be travelling around the South! Again, quickly, tried asking some students if they know that he's around but I was too late. The moment my questions were answered he has already left S'oton and I don't think I'll get to see him, ever!

Frustrated. I can't even remember the last time I met him. He didn't even had the chance to attend our walimah for reasons unavoidable and I've never seen him since then. I have so many questions to ask and most of all, I just need to see him!

I keep telling myself that it's ok, tak ada rezeki and I've tried. But Allah Knows how happy I was knowing he's here and how it turned into negative feelings not having the chance to at last (I thought) meet him with my new little family, husband and son. Allah, Allah, Allah.

But ALlah Most Gracious listens how, and knows why and He granted my wish when I least expect it!

Talking to my mother near New Year's eve, I told her that I didn't get to talk to him nor meet him and I think he's back in Malaysia already.

Later that week, at last, an SMS from my dear schoolmate came asking my contact number for another junior of mine. I thought it was just another Alumni thingy but I was so surprised, soon after my husband replied the message a call came in and seconds after I was talking to Mu'allim Muhaimin! Subhanallah, my heart was jumping and ... err whatever that's applicable :) - he said he's coming to visit me tomorrow if it's okay with us. OF COURSE! (Nah, cemburu tak kalian?!)

And on the morning of Thursday, 4th January 2007, we had our first special guest/visitor from home that didn't only remind me of home but the place and the people I've known for so long ... the people I call friends and teachers, the place I really felt like "home" and the memories I've always treasured all my life ...
* may Allah bless him for his kindness towards me and family. Cikgu pula yang cari dan ziarah anak murid! :D

Mu'allim Muhaimin was not only a teacher and none of my mua'llims nor mu'allimats were ... they are murabbis, they aren't my parents but they are people so dear and close to my heart for what they've instilled in my soul for more than a decade. Hira' was also no mere memory to me, it was a blessing of a lifetime! I am what I am, partly because of them and partly because of my family (other than my current life-educating processes and experiences). The place that reminds me of Allah and the beauty of Islam in both, ideals and practice. We had an Islamic bi'ah/environment I've yet to re-discover anywhere. It wasn't perfect but enough to teach me and enlighten me with a mission and vision that guides my lifetime journey.

One thing about Mu'allim Muhaimin himself; in Hira' we were taught to give salam especially to teachers whenever we pass by anyone of them, but this mu'allim of mine has always challenged us the other way round ... he'll be the one giving salam first when we are struggling to find the chance to greet him before he does! :) Teringat beria-ia sengaja kami tunggu dekat koridor kelas yang dua tiga meter je dari bilik Mu'allimun sebelum Mu'allim lalu, macam main aci, nak cuba beri salam dulu! I'm not sure whether we've ever "won" that game though ;).

That's why these people are special. They have great knowledge yet a very humble character. They treated us like children, or at least someone close to them, not just like a student -I don't know whom- but I just have to teach- till they pass in class like many no-teaching-passion teachers are nowadays :(.

I remembered the day I was asked whether I want to go to Hira' (for primary) or another school, I simply said Hira', not knowing why but I believed it was His plans for me. I enjoyed 9 official years there as a student and "child" along with my female siblings. I'm not sure what they think or feel about it now, but I'll say I have no regrets being part of the system though we had to learn in harsh conditions and hardly being recognized by government institutions nor anywhere else. Whenever I'm there it feels like, "I don't wanna grow up I'm a Hira' kid" :) (quote:Toys R Us).

I left Hira' with a heavy heart, always finding a way to get back. Alhamdulillah, we manage to establish an Alumni where I did get a chance to work for and enjoy reunions with the people I've always cherished and loved.

Hira' is still very much alive and expanding. It has been growing since those sweet old days with new branches in Jeram and Shah Alam. We have a big family of Hira'ians now. I'm not sure if my teachers could still remember me but I remembered the last time I called Jeram's office to enquire about something when I was in the university, the staff requested my name and I said I was a student but I don't think you'll know me. Citing my name, he quickly told the others it's me and I heard somebody said; "Siapa tak kenal "me"?!". Huhu, nasib baik tak balas, "Encik bergurau ke ni?". 'Ala kulli haal, that's what I call "home" err other than these "homes" of mine-lah of course!

Friends? They were too many to mention. Of various batches and ages. We're still in touch though many of us are already parents to children and even figures in our own fields and paths. Alhamdulillah. These are the people that need no ice breaking when they meet. They might be separated for years but their hearts are like flowers in the spring, blooming with glory whenever the sun touches them with its soft light, flourishing the earth in the slightly cosy breeze. Err ... I'm waiting for the moment to meet them again, SOON, hopefully inshaALlah :)

Well, I do miss those days, NOT to say that I'm not happy with what I have now, Alhamdulillah I am blessed with a great companion and a lovely child, MashaAllah. Just like the blessings of being a part of the Sevenlords. I just hope one day I can share this bliss and happiness of mine with my friends, as I would love to share my fond memories of yesterday with others with my little family now.

Sometimes, you just want to be "where everybody knows your name ..." :) . (quote : Cheers).



Jazakumullah khairal jazaa' ... ;)

... and yearning for another beautiful history tommorrow :)

catatan hari ini

1
Meski diungkap kalau beribu
fatamorgana tetap hanya
harap nan palsu.

2
Hari ini dan masa depan
mustahil jadi putusan
dadu yang dibaling tangan.

3
Yang bisa mengertikan hidup ini
dengan peka minda dan suci hati
akan ingin mempelajari,
tak pantas angkuh dengan
sijil-sijil rasmi pengiktirafan duniawi.

4
Ibu tua yang tidak bisa menggenggam pena,
tidak mengerti falsafah dan politik dunia
mungkin punya anak graduan PhD.

5
Kulit anjal yang penuh berkedut
membalut susuk yang tak lagi pejal
dan bukan lagi jaguh,
mungkin saksi sebuah sketsa hayat
nan panjang,
penuh makna dan harap bertaut.

6
Buah yang masak ranum
pernah muda, kelat dan keras
sebelum harum manis isinya
menjenguk halkum.

7
Yang celik mata tetapi buta hati,
hanya akan dapat melihat jalan-jalan
dan persimpangan
tanpa mengenal arah dan destinasi.

8
Hanya iman yang memandu nilai serta budi
bekal hakiki paling relevan lagi mesti
dalam meniti jalan mencari Ilahi.

khaleel el-wafy,
rumah kecil furzedown road, 9 Januari 2007.

Orang putih ke Melayu?

I'm still here, blogging in the early dark hours of the day ... The little fella has yet to make an appearance. Well, there's still 9 days to go before its due :)

Why do I blog in English?

Malay is my mother tongue though I've finished a degree with subjects mostly in Arabic and the rest in English. I love to write poems in Malay, though I do have some pieces in English and maybe one? in Arabic (its not that good though).

Indeed, I am better in Malay when it comes to expressing my thoughts and feelings in those poetic notes. Erm, puitis sangatkah? Tidak. I don't think I'm much of a poet. I've too little writings in comparison to the other poetic artists or even friends and even lieawulf! ;) I would consider my writings as notes on life and observations, unnecessarily poetic, but usually in poem-form ... sort of!

Aduh! Saya sedikit hairan bila al-akh Zaid Akhtar mengajukan pertanyaan kenapa saya berbahasa Inggeris di blog dan ke manakah puisi-puisi Melayu saya? Saya masih menulis dengan bahasa ibunda, berpuisi (mungkin) dengan bahasa yang pertama saya kenali di dunia nyata. Puisi-puisi saya juga masih memenuhi blog usang ini. But I do blog in English (I do write in Malay occassionally) for a few reasons:

- I need to practice the language, especially after graduating from the university ... well, language is a bit BIODEGRADABLE ;) you might lose it by time without practicing (its even very rusty already) ... I am currently living in an English speaking world, but I don't have the chance to mingle much to effectively practice it outside so the least I SHOULD BE DOING is this? :)

- I have many non-Malay, non-Malaysians friends. I want them to be able to understand my writings, like my dearest brother luqmanlee ... he used to visit my old blog to leave messages without having the chance to understand my musings. Isn't that a disadvantage for da'wah? (if the content is relevant).

- I believe many of my Malay speaking friends whom are internet-savvy are also multingual, bilingual: Malay+English at least! But some of my English speaking friends know very little Malay or none at all! Hence, let's do justice to everyone :)

I'm communicating with my son in Malay though I do read and teach him in English. I'm hoping that when it's time to go back home, my son will be able to speak both Malay and English well.

I can't help it. He's a Malay just like we are. So are his grandparents. I don't want him to come home like some Malay-tetapi Orang putih? children that do not even speak a single Malay word nor understand it!

I know, many people are proud to have fluent English speaking children (even if they are totally ignorant about their own language and culture), but I have to say that I'm not going to be proud to have a child instilled ONLY with values and a worldview adopted by the West. We are what we are. This is my view though. I know that sometimes people regard me as a weirdo for not being too excited living and bringing up a family in this Mat Saleh/Orang putih's country.

I'm a Muslim, and I hope to bring up a child with Islamic values and worldview, and that will be a priority. If he speaks English well, alhamdulillah, as we should benefit that from our stay here. But please Handzalah, learn Malay well (and InshaALlah Arabic too), as there's nothing wrong about being one!

Erm, there are studies suggesting that children might be confused and refuse to communicate when there's too many languages used at home. But the findings are not definite (well as far as I've read :)). Some suggest that one parent should use only one language. I do agree. But I also think Muslims are born to be at least bilingual because all of us speaks Arabic! ;) hehe in our prayers 5 times a day at least!

ALlah Knows Best! :)

buat Syaffa ...

nukilan ini buat Syaffa, my dearest cyberfriend that I haven't met but has become a dearest sister of mine ... sayang sekali berkali-kali cuba hantar pada Syaffa tapi tak berjaya. ALlah Knows Best :). Jazakumullah Khairal Jazaa' untuk kiriman dari bumi eire, moga dalam lindungan rahmatNya sentiasa!

------------------------------------------

buat Syaffa

Du'a ini buat sahabat
moga sentiasa dalam
rahmat tenang dan berkat.

Terima kasih untuk kiriman dari jauh.

Sepenuh hati aku merafa' syukur
akan ni'mat Tuhan
nan sentiasa meneduh,
kala hati dibasahi hujan sendu
kala jiwa dipanah terik mentari rindu,
bukan hanya pada abi dan ummi yang jauh
bahkan buat teman-teman
yang semusim lalu
bersama mengharung dingin tengkujuh
bahana air bah,
dari kawah dakwat
pena-pena nan jahil dan angkuh.

Titipan mereka memukul arus keliru,
menghenyak dunia yang kerdil
dihanyutkan buntu,
dunia yang sugul
makin kelam, makin kabut,
tapi kita bersatu
dan atas nama-Nya
perjuangan ini bersahut!

dan kita,
dengan dua tangan yang lemah ini,
hanya bersandar pada hati
yang teguh dan ampuh,
memohon lindungan redha hidayah,
hai musuh ALlah,
dengan mata pena ini kau kurusuh!

Pejuang ALlah tidak takut mati,
meski yang sekerdil kita ini
hanya pantas 'syahid'
dari jendela maya
dan akhbar-akhbar kontemporari.

Hari ini sahabat,
karyamu ku dakap erat
jadi semangat,
perjuangan ini tentunya penuh lelah dan penat!
Namun bukan untuk seorang aku,
kerna yang seperti engkau disitu
masih beribu-ribu di seluruh pelusuk
kerajaan Tuhanku!

Dengan nama Tuhan Yang Esa
kutuliskan bait-bait kasih,
cinta dan rindu,
moga dunia masih bisa tahu,
ni'mat Tuhan indah nian
buat yang celik dan sanggup
mengharung jalan pulang pada Yang Satu.

kuhimpunkan realiti-realiti masa,
kusandarkan pada kalimah al-Haq
dalam 'amrain' yang diwariskan baginda,
kubongkarkan makar dan tipudaya mereka,
moga dunia beroleh beza
melihat nyata
biarlah al-batil bertemu seteru yang setara!

sahabatku kalam ini untukmu,
moga qalam di tanganmu
tak pernah kering
dari bimbingan hidayah-Nya selalu!

"[Yusuf:108] Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Inilah jalanku dan orang-orang yang menurutku, menyeru manusia umumnya kepada agama Allah dengan berdasarkan keterangan dan bukti yang jelas nyata. Dan aku menegaskan: Maha suci Allah (dari segala iktiqad dan perbuatan syirik); dan bukanlah aku dari golongan yang mempersekutukan Allah dengan sesuatu yang lain."

qul hazihi sabili ... salam kasih ukhuwwah dari yang jauh:
khaleel el-wafy,
rumah kecil furzedown road, s'oton,
0325am/nov 17,2006

sleepless nights ...

Salam 'eid mubarak to all. Hoping everyone had a pleasant 'eid at home or anywhere you are fi hifzillah. We celebrated 'eid in S'oton last Saturday and seems like it was merrier than 'eidul fitr, as told by the others. There were even more Malays attending the 'eid prayer and there was 'makan-makan' as usual at Kg. Broadlands. Seems like everyone's back from the winter holidays. And people back home in Malaysia celebrate it today with Qurbans and a wedding soon InshaALlah. Kak Diana is already married to a Kelantanese guy and they'll be having a reception at the groom's hometown on the 2nd day of the New Year InshaAllah. Barakallah lakuma wa feekuma wa jama'a bainakuma fil khayr. That's a very merry 'eid isn't it? :)

But, the three of us celebrated 'eid "quietly" at home, all because of the false alarm! ;)

We slept really late on the night of 'eid after cooking some raya delicacies when I started to experience discomfort and pain. MashaAllah, We thought the little fella was about to 'come and celebrate' 'eid with us three. But he/she didn't turn up. Nope. Not yet. It was just another 'drill' I guess. We stayed home all day and life goes on with a lesser 'eid feeling. Too restless and tired. Nobody had enough sleep. And too excited in a way, not knowing what's up next.

Nevertheless, we had three visitors in the evening. Lucky them and us too Alhamdulillah, there's food to be served and enjoyed by everyone. Not to forget the special 'pink' ketayap/kuih dadar with white coconut filling : well, we didn't plan to make any and there were no green colouring nor brown sugar to make it look the way it should. It was our first trial which was a success, hamdanlillah! :) Taste matters, right? It's abuhandzalah's favourite and I'm happy that at last, I can prepare it from my own kitchen! Err, of course with abuhandzalah's skillful technique of spreading the dough (men'dadar'kan bancuhan kuih) in the pan, as I'm a bit 'tak gheti guano' to make it nicely round and thin. Huhu, just like the way we made English pancakes. I'll get all the ingredients ready mixed and he'll do the rest. He's even better at handling the really really thin popiah skins the first time we made our own too. Aiya, I need more training with my hands-lah ;)

Poor Handzalah who hasn't been anywhere much lately. The weather hasn't been good for walks in the park and ummi hasn't been that well for long journeys. He had so much fun after my last visit to health center last week, when we stayed at the uni's park for a while to let him run around and watch the ducks enjoying the cold flowing water in the pond! One of those flying creatures flew on top of our heads and Handzalah was really stunned! He was laughing and mentioning "duck", "duck" all the time. He likes it so much whenever we walk down to the university (and up home) especially during these holidays when there's not many people around; dunia ini aku yang punya! He'll be running around without anything to worry about. We usually let him free on his feet which usually capture's the public's eye with all smiles and sometimes "HI". Well, he's that friendly little guy that passes a bit spark to everyone, the person you'd like to run into during the gloomy days with dark skies. :) There's one time he walked pass an old man and he told us with a loud voice and a big smile, "The little man is marching" ... aha, he is! "Marching" ahead with all positive thought in his head and heart, I think, and I do believe. Isn't it nice to be like a kid, with the least to worry about and the most to be happy of?

Lately, Handzalah has learnt not only to give cuddles and kisses upon requests but he's offering and requesting them from us! Usually before he falls asleep or if he's up before bedtime ends and he needs to sleep back, he'll call for ummi and abi, saying "pewuk" (peluk/hug) or "shium" (cium/kiss) with his two hands and cheek ready for action. I'm thinking of the moment I'll need to leave him with his favourite 'kakak-kakak', that's when we'll be in labour ward! Will he be fine? May ALlah ease everything and make him happy always. I hope we won't need to be in the hospital that long. Though, I know he's always excited and will have so much fun with them around. He'll always fall asleep in the car after we left their place because he'll be all busy entertained and entertaining! He'll be playing here and there, this and that, calling their names and forget ummi's there too ;). We just gave 'kakak-kakak' a raya visit before maghrib today and we stayed until 9pm! Simply fulfilling his everyday request - wanting to see them! :) Hoping to keep him occupied and happy having another little fella around. Thinking of a proper timetable to get him to the library and playgroups when I'm all well InshaALlah. I don't think the little playtime and learn we're having at home now is adequate for his development. Well we do mix around with other families and children, but as he's growing I just hope I can cope and do enough things (if not more) for his growth.

Sleepless nights ... I think it's very much usual for new families to have them or everytime there's a newborn. Or in some cases, married life requires you to stay awake for a lot of reasons and most of them - to care for the people you care most about! Well, during pregnancy it's quite a normal syndrome, where mothers-to-be experience sleepless night and restless mornings. Sometimes you just can't sleep and most of the time the discomfort deprives you from a good one. That's part and parcel of motherhood, and parenthood too. Mothers and fathers will be 'zombies' for nights and weeks before they adapt to their new roles and responsibilities. But it's not something that starts or ends during early babyhood, those sleepless restless days might recur whenever any of your beloved ones - especially the little helpless fellas - fall sick or had trouble sleeping. We had that problem with our little boy before. He slept well during the first two weeks but we still had to wake up for changing and feeds and nurse him in the hospital when he had jaundice in the 2nd week. It continued non-stop through weeks and months as he was colicky and later on developed a problem of adjusting his sleep in the proper hours at night. My husband had to buy us lunch everyday because we never had the chance to sleep well at night and therefore in the morning, I'm all tired and exhausted. He'll be going to work with a tired sleepy face. Only until he's weaned off the breastmilk totally that the sleeping problem really went away but alhamdulillah it was better after hist first birthday. I would say the colic had an effect on his sleep and so did our journeys and travelling. I remembered reading and listening to the Health Visitor's/GP's saying that he'll never be able to settle until we settle down - from moving - FIRST! So to all parents wannabe, plan well please :). I know it's not easy, we've had changes in our original plan due to things happening beyond our ability to discard them and therefore THE CONSEQUENCES!

Nevertheless, I hope our countless, sleepless, restless nights will be accounted for as good deeds that will be rewarded with pleasure in the eyes of the Almighty ... Ihfadzillaha yahfadzka!

salam 'eid mubarak to all and forgive us for our weaknesses and wrongdoings.

* read about colic

tiga perkara

yang tidak ada di kamar kita
bukan jendela,
kipas angin
atau pendingin hawa berkuasa kuda

yang tidak ada di rumah kita
adalah isteri dan anak-anak
(juga barangkali suami,)
yang menjadi penyejuk mata
sumber ketenangan jiwa

yang tidak kita punya
rupa-rupanya kasih dan cinta
sedingin air telaga,
tenang dan bersahaja
namun sentiasa segar
menghilang panas tubuh,
letih dan dahaga

bahang yang terasa
di sebalik istana mewah terbina
kerana kita
tidak kenal Pencipta,
tidak kasih kekasih-Nya,
dangkal dalam mengertikan
kalam-Nya nan sempurna

kenali dan cinta
tiga perkara
moga hilang panas di dunia
bersama bayang nyala murka
neraka Tuhan yang setia menanti
bahan bakarnya

khaleel el-wafy
rumah kecil furzedown road,
Dec 28, 2006.

talk-about-babies [part 5]

the little boy has grown ...

so much!

Sometimes, I just can't believe my eyes and ears: the way he acts and talks it's like he's left the tiny, cuddle-only babyhood for a long time! Now he's learning to call people's names, especially kakak-kakak's: the frequent visitors to our little house.

He has so many expressions now: laughter, smiles, frowning and even cries like he never did before! He's a bit too dramatic sometimes, pulling his little face to show ummi and abi "I'm sad"! That's usually when ummi gives him a "time-out": out of the sight when he did something really wrong, e.g stay in the kitchen or outside the bedroom - just like the "naughty step" thing in parenting OR ummi leaves him with his intolerable behaviour, no more games, no more talking and ummi will go to bed. We'll get him after some time, ask him to give a handshake or actually salam, a hug and a kiss to say sorry. He usually stops crying immediately and we'll pick him up with a hug and kiss in return... the funny thing IS, if he's out of the door, he'll come knocking and crying but still says "Akum" - assalamu'alaikum in his language asking us to open it ... oh, anak ummi! cepat cair hati ummi macam ni :(.

I don't believe that hurting him with too many loud and harsh words will help, and just forget about spanking! Though these days, I think I've been a bit too emotional - I'm in my last stage of pregnancy - I felt so bad having to feel angry when he does things wrongly. May Allah grant me patience to cope, poor fella, he's just a kid that's learning to know the world ...

He's usually funny and really loves joining others' conversation, especially when people burst into laughter, he'll cry "hahaha" though he doesn't understand why. He knows how to make a fake "crying" sound now, just for fun ... and he loves babies so much, he'll tell you there's a baby in sight whenever he came across one, in books, the tele or those he met at home and outside. He's always calling "adik",patting his hands on the tummy and sometimes lovingly leaning his cheek and head on it with a kiss "muahsss..."! Some people say that's his best and special skill: hugs with a long "muah" kissing sound ;)

He's copying, immitating nearly everything! He's good at house chores or shall I say better these days as he has developed such "interest" far earlier. He'll help ummi to sort clothes and load the washing machine. He'll also help to take out the clothes and get them hanged, and spin the inner part of the machine (like ummi always does) before closing the door to make sure every single thing has come out :). Whenever he finds something on the floor that shouldn't be there or if something dropped, he'll say "Allah" and pick it up. He's very kind and keen at helping out anytime; unless he has something more interesting to do :). He'll get things for you whenever you asked for them or whenever you mentioned so. He even tried helping ummi up/out of the bed when ummi's backache troubles her to do so :). And now he knows to complete the prayer, he can do ruku', sujud and the sittings between, pointing out the finger for tahiyyah and also the ending salams; though he might not do everything in every solat of his! ;)

He's good with technology! Give him a computer, a PDA ... anything? He'll delete some files, turned on some music and even get his voice recorded in them! :D He's so observant and he's absorbing everything, just like a sponge! As you know, he loves music and lately whenever abi and ummi sing along (or talk to others sometimes), he'll give that "silence, please" sign - finger on lips - with a shhh! ;)

His always observant and absorbing sponge-like mind has given so many surprises. He might not copy things or pronounce words immediately after you teach him, but he'll popped them out later when you least expect it! Just like a few nights ago when he mentioned "kakak Aziya" (for Azila) a few times before bed! He knows and remembers where you keep things and what's missing from a puzzle or the shape sorter.

He has discovered what's beyond his diapers and he's showing some readiness for potty training. He knows how to tell you when he'll poo but rarely mention if he needs a wee. Watch out if he's squatting undressed (usually after a good wash)! The last time ummi and abi didn't pay attention to that, he left some "gifts" in front of the bathroom and on the bed! Erk ... He'll try to put on/off his own clothes, and brush his own teeth but he doesn't really like brushing them much. He's about to complete his first sets of teeth soon inshaAllah.

He loves to read! He wakes up and goes to sleep with books; err and some biscuits and water too! Is it ok to let him have snacks before bedtime? Now he can read Postman Pat's Big Book of Words showing the blender, kettle, washing machine, toaster etc. whenever you mention them ... he knows the black cat from Hansel and Grettel and the teapot from Beauty and the Beast ... I'm trying to find him a new set of Sirah/Islamic animated book so that he can learn from them as well. Have just taught him alif, ba and ta. He'll reach the whiteboard, pointing the letter "ba" and pronouncing it everytime we sit in the lounge; ummi's teaching area :). Seems like "ba" is more popular than the other two eh?

Is there a child in the UK that knows nothing about Bob the Builder? Even Joode is a big fan of him! That's my lil nephew in Malaysia. We don't have Sky at home but since we bought him a pair of wellies with Bob on them, and a big activity book with Bob and team, plus kakak-kakak showing Bob's series on YouTube, he has turn into another fan, no doubt! He'll ask for Bob - that's the book or the newly bought (by kak Mai) 15-piece Jigsaw puzzle. I think kids just love Bob on his big machines, just like Handzalah love his Dig, Dig, Digging book that's filled with diggers, tractors and rubbish trucks.

Hmm ... in a month plus-time, this little boy will have a baby bro/sis (surprise, surprise!). I don't know how it's going to be then, but I hope Allah we'll ease this journey of parenthood with granting us guidance, knowledge, strentgh and patience to produce little mujahids and caliphs (the wonderful term from bigSis' friend) ...

last but not least: ... and this loving son of mine, knows whenever I feel a bit down. Well he loves giving away cuddles and kisses all the time, but he'll give a long big hug and kiss ... whenever I don't feel fine. Trying to make ummi cry eh? ;) my little heartthrob!

* read about a 21-months old's growth here

I am an Idealist?

hmm ... haven't taken any personality tests for so long, kinda miss them! :)

anyway, dropped by at lieawulf's blog and found her doing this 3Qs Personality Test,
very short yet interesting because I think it is quite true ... in some ways, in certain aspects ...
maybe, and maybe not ;) ... what do you think ... of ME?
hmm, 'ala kulli haal I do think its good to know our own personality especially through certified/authentic tests because they'll help us to know ourselves, through attitudes, strength and weaknesses and let us develop into a better person inshaAllah ... and in this challenging field of da'wah and quest of 'ubudiyyah, knowing oneself might ease the path to reach and touch the hearts of people and to know God ... Allah Knows Best! :)

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

dedikasi buat dua insan teristimewa

tanpa ayah, tanpa ibu

gimana aku menjadi aku?
tanpa ayah, tanpa ibu
gimana kenal cinta dan rindu?
tanpa ayah, tanpa ibu
dunia pasti keliru dan buntu
kerna kasih sayang tanpa syarat
hanya bisa datang dari
yang melahirkan dan membesarkan
tanpa pernah mengungkit penat
tiada pernah mengaku jemu
sentiasa rela, sentiasa mampu
membela dan melayani
setiap satu kerenah dan perilaku!
untuk Mama dan Papa,
terima kasih seluruh jiwaku
moga akhirnya di firdaus al-a'la
hidup dalam pandangan rahmat-Mu selalu!

kew, nov25, '06 - rumah kecil furzedown road.